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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Saddest
Saws
Knew
Ever
Men
Bert
Funniest
Williams
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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I drink therefore I am.
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
