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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cheating
Worth
Thing

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. Fields
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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
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I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
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How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
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Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. Fields
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields