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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cheating
Worth
Thing

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
W. C. Fields
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
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If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
W. C. Fields
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
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Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
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I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields