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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cheating
Worth
Thing

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
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The best thing to break is a contract.
W. C. Fields
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
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I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields