Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Way
Judged
Life
Woods
Nation
Return
Amount
Colonial
Wife
Split
Nations
Splits
Needs
Wood
More quotes by W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
If I had my life to live over again, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
W. C. Fields
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
W. C. Fields
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields