Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Undertakers
Undertaker
Wink
Doctors
Meet
More quotes by W. C. Fields
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
