Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Undertakers
Undertaker
Wink
Doctors
Meet
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
