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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Undertaker
Wink
Doctors
Meet
Undertakers
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
