Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Undertakers
Undertaker
Wink
Doctors
Meet
More quotes by W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
W. C. Fields
