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Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Happiness
Means
Mean
Nerves
Quiet
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
