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Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Nerves
Quiet
Happiness
Means
Mean
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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