Quote

I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Might
Forty
Years
Customers
Never
Entertainment
Belittling
Would
Race
Construed
Religion
Belittle
Business
Detrimental
Three
Sucker
Anything
Insult

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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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I like children - fried.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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