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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Cutting
Trust
Everybody
Distrust
Cards
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields