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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Distrust
Cards
Cutting
Trust
Everybody
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
