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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Distrust
Cards
Cutting
Trust
Everybody
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
The best thing to break is a contract.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
