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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Distrust
Cards
Cutting
Trust
Everybody

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields