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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Distrust
Cards
Cutting
Trust
Everybody
More quotes by W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake which emitted a curious ticking noise? Would you plunge it into a pail of water - thus insulting Soviet cuisine in general?
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. Fields
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
The best thing to break is a contract.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
