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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Though
Moderation
Funny
Documents
Use
Legal
Often
Humorous
Indeed
Name
Middle
Names
Signing
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
The best thing to break is a contract.
W. C. Fields
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields
