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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Memory
Memories
Names
Face
Poor
Faces
Funny
Seldom
Remember
Humorous

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
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I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
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Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. Fields
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields