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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Father
Blisters
Find
Convenience
Toes
Travel
Couldn
Marriage
Bigs
Girl
Blister
More quotes by W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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When asked to borrow money: I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
