Quote

It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.

W. C. Fields

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Father
Blisters
Find
Convenience
Toes
Travel
Couldn
Marriage
Bigs
Girl
Blister

More quotes by W. C. Fields

Image
A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
W. C. Fields
Image
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
Image
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
W. C. Fields
Image
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
Image
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Image
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
W. C. Fields
Image
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
Image
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Image
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. Fields
Image
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
Image
All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
W. C. Fields
Image
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields
Image
Ultimately chess is just chess - not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
Image
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
W. C. Fields
Image
I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
W. C. Fields
Image
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
Image
I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
Image
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields