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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Fields
Loops
Looking
Agnostic
Reading
Explained
Religion
Hole
Book
Holes
Discovered
Bible
Loop
Lifetime
Deathbed

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
W. C. Fields
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I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.
W. C. Fields
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
W. C. Fields
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. Fields
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
W. C. Fields
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
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Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.
W. C. Fields
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields