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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Reading
Explained
Religion
Hole
Book
Holes
Discovered
Bible
Loop
Lifetime
Deathbed
Fields
Loops
Looking
Agnostic

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
W. C. Fields