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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Discovered
Bible
Loop
Lifetime
Deathbed
Fields
Loops
Looking
Agnostic
Reading
Explained
Religion
Hole
Book
Holes

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I never met a kid I liked.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
W. C. Fields
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
W. C. Fields
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
W. C. Fields