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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Religion
Hole
Book
Holes
Discovered
Bible
Loop
Lifetime
Deathbed
Fields
Loops
Looking
Agnostic
Reading
Explained

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
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I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields
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It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.
W. C. Fields
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Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
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Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
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I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. Fields