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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Fields
Loops
Looking
Agnostic
Reading
Explained
Religion
Hole
Book
Holes
Discovered
Bible
Loop
Lifetime
Deathbed

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields
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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
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I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
W. C. Fields
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Here is my best advice on the matter of deductibles: just count off on your fingers all the items that you suspect might be deductible - and then forget them, because they aren't.
W. C. Fields
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
W. C. Fields
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields