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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Wake
Smile
Morning
Inspirational
More quotes by W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.
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What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
