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I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Reading
Loopholes
Bible
Caught
Comedy
Looking
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
I always made up my own acts built them out of my knowledge and observation of real life. I'd had wonderful opportunities to study people and every time I went out on the stage I tried to show the audience some bit of true human nature.
W. C. Fields
The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
W. C. Fields
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. Fields
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
W. C. Fields
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields
