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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Rather
Living
Whole
Would
Philadelphia
Comedy
More quotes by W. C. Fields
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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I was almost put out of business by a well-meaning corpse.
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Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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