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I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Would
Philadelphia
Comedy
Rather
Living
Whole

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.
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Never work with animals or children.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields
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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
W. C. Fields