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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Always
Never
Voted
Anybody
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
W. C. Fields
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
W. C. Fields
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. Fields
Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
I like children. If they're properly cooked.
W. C. Fields
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
W. C. Fields
I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
W. C. Fields
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields