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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Voted
Anybody
Always
Never
More quotes by W. C. Fields
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Never work with animals or children.
W. C. Fields
I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
W. C. Fields
I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
I've been on a 46-year diet of olives and alcohol. The latter I consume. The former I save and use over again in more alcohol. In my lifetime, I imagine, I have consumed at least $200,000 worth of whisky.
W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields
I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.
W. C. Fields
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields
I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
W. C. Fields
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. Fields
