Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
W. C. Fields
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Laugh
Laughing
Serious
Comedy
Purpose
Business
Make
People
More quotes by W. C. Fields
If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
W. C. Fields
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.
W. C. Fields
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
The best thing to break is a contract.
W. C. Fields
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. Fields
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
