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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
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Thing
Laugh
Trying
Laughing
Never
Humor
Like
Comedy
Eels
People
Water
Tubs
Funny
Funniest
Makes
Pick
More quotes by W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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I'm searching for loopholes.
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Never work with animals or children.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents.
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If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields
