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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Funny
Funniest
Makes
Pick
Hands
Picks
Thing
Laugh
Trying
Laughing
Never
Humor
Like
Comedy
Eels
People
Water
Tubs

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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Never work with animals or children.
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
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The best thing to break is a contract.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
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If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
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Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
W. C. Fields