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The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Hands
Picks
Thing
Laugh
Trying
Laughing
Never
Humor
Like
Comedy
Eels
People
Water
Tubs
Funny
Funniest
Makes
Pick

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
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I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
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