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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Friends
Two
Merry
Christmas
Except
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I'd take a Bromo, but I can't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
W. C. Fields
If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.
W. C. Fields
Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
W. C. Fields
The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
