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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Merry
Christmas
Except
Friends
Two
More quotes by W. C. Fields
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
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Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
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Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.
W. C. Fields
