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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Christmas
Except
Friends
Two
Merry
More quotes by W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
W. C. Fields
It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
I can do anything I want to do!
W. C. Fields
Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
W. C. Fields
Business is an establishment that gives you the legal, even though unethical, right to screw the naive-right, left, and in the middle.
W. C. Fields
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. Fields
I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.
W. C. Fields
It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
W. C. Fields
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
Ain't fit for man nor beast
W. C. Fields
I'm searching for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. Fields
I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.
W. C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
