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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Meat
Horse
Tough
Outside
Usually
Food
Didn
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
W. C. Fields
I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
W. C. Fields
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.).
W. C. Fields
Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
W. C. Fields
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
W. C. Fields
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
W. C. Fields
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
W. C. Fields
