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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Brother
Baffle
Science
Midget
World
Whilst
Largest
Twins
Giant
Smallest
Giants

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him and it usually does.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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