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The Punkwat twins! Brentwood is the world's smallest giant, whilst his brother, Elwood, is the largest midget in the world. They baffle science!

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Giants
Brother
Baffle
Science
Midget
World
Whilst
Largest
Twins
Giant
Smallest

More quotes by W. C. Fields

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I never eat before breakfast.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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I like children - fried.
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If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
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When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
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I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. Fields
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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
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I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
W. C. Fields
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
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After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse.
W. C. Fields
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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields