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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Death
Whisky
Long
Whiskey
Make
Presence
Mines
Mine
Goes
Anyone
Lurks
Simple
Swallowing
More quotes by W. C. Fields
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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Yes I do like children ... Girl children...about eighteen or twenty.
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During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
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Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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I can do anything I want to do!
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
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You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that's enough to make a decent living.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
