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So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Long
Whiskey
Make
Presence
Mines
Mine
Goes
Anyone
Lurks
Simple
Swallowing
Death
Whisky
More quotes by W. C. Fields
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
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Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
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I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.
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Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
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All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
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I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.
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I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
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Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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