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First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Philadelphia
Prize
Weeks
Second
Week
Two
Firsts
First
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
The best thing to break is a contract.
W. C. Fields
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
W. C. Fields
Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
What a gorgeous day. What effulgent sunshine. It was a day of this sort the McGillicuddy brothers murdered their mother with an axe.
W. C. Fields
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
Happiness means quiet nerves.
W. C. Fields
When you wake up in the morning, smile - and get it over with.
W. C. Fields
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
W. C. Fields
Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!
W. C. Fields
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. Fields
