Quote

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Marriage
Friend
Things
Life
Fiancee
Inform
Embarrassing
Necessity
Engaged

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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
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It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.
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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
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I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
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Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
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I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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Dentists, lawyers, doctors are all a bunch of thieving bastards.
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There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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