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No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Make
Thinks
Men
Dog
Thinking
Dead
Funny
Making
House
Home
Pet
Play
Boss
More quotes by W. C. Fields
First prize was a week in Philadelphia. Second prize was two weeks.
W. C. Fields
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.
W. C. Fields
I write my scripts short and they develop on the set, which I have found a far better premise both economically and practically.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
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Ain't fit for man nor beast
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
W. C. Fields
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields
Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. Fields
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
W. C. Fields
My daughter wants to throw a stone at a bad man. I stop her from throwing, shaking my head and giving her a little slap. My disapproval is complete. You think: 'That's right, she shouldn't throw a stone even at a villain.' Then I hand her a brick to throw.
W. C. Fields
