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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Doe
States
Verify
Firsts
Comedian
First
Laughter
Thing
Laugh
Laughing
Getting
State
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
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Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
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Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.
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I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
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California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
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I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.
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Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
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In the ten years since I had run away from home...I had gone through more strange experiences than the average person crowds into a whole lifetime.
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