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The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his .
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Thing
Laugh
Laughing
Getting
State
Doe
States
Verify
Firsts
Comedian
First
Laughter
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.
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All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.
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I like children - fried.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
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Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
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There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore however, I'm not drinking any less either.
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The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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