Quote

Never eat at a place called 'Moms', but if the only other place in town has a sign that says 'Eats', go back to Moms.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Says
Called
Moms
Place
Eats
Back
Restaurants
Never
Town
Sign
Towns
Mom

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Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
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Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
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I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
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Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.
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I never met a kid I liked.
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I could be stranded in any town in the United States with ten cents and within an hour make $20 with the shell game.
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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
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It's what you do that counts and not what you say therefore I fired my press agent.
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