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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Use
Rumor
Concerning
Penalty
Derogatory
Penalties
Stimulants
Note
Lavish
Notes
Rumors
Greatness
Alcoholic
Living
Alcoholics
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
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I like children. If they're properly cooked.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
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I must have a drink of breakfast.
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My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
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The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it.
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It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
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Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.
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I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
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I could juggle anything in my day. Balls, cigar boxes, knives...But there was one thing I could never juggle. My income tax.
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A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.
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I drink therefore I am.
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.
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I have been in the entertainment business some forty-three years, and I have never said anything detrimental or anything that might be construed as belittling any race or religion. I would be a sucker to do so because you can't insult the customers.
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I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
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Buried my wife the other day. Had to, she died.
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A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
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No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
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