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I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.

W. C. Fields

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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Concerning
Penalty
Derogatory
Penalties
Stimulants
Note
Lavish
Notes
Rumors
Greatness
Alcoholic
Living
Alcoholics
Use
Rumor

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Happiness means quiet nerves.
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If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.
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I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
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I never eat before breakfast.
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It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
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Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
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A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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I drink therefore I am.
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I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog.
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Some people are born losers others acquire the knack gradually.
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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
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Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
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