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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Beer
Ugly
Sex
Since
Helping
People
More quotes by W. C. Fields
The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.
W. C. Fields
All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death.
W. C. Fields
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.
W. C. Fields
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields
I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
W. C. Fields
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
W. C. Fields
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. Fields
