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Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Since
Helping
People
Beer
Ugly
Sex
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.
W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man.
W. C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
W. C. Fields
No man is boss in his own home, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
W. C. Fields
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. Fields
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. Fields
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.
W. C. Fields
Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. Fields
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields
I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
W. C. Fields
The work I'm doing on the screen differs from that of anyone else. My comedy is of a peculiar nature...no writers have been developed along the lines of my type of comedy and this is why I sometimes have differences with writers, supervisors and directors alike.
W. C. Fields
It is impossible to find twelve fair men in all the world.
W. C. Fields
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields
I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W. C. Fields
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. Fields
