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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Thing
Cynical
Miserable
Smile
Morning
Firsts
First
More quotes by W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
W. C. Fields
I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields
There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.
W. C. Fields
I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
W. C. Fields
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. Fields
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. Fields
I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
W. C. Fields
I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
W. C. Fields
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields
There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
W. C. Fields
I'm looking for loopholes.
W. C. Fields
Ye Gads, no! I couldn't stand the noise.
W. C. Fields
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields
Where there is a will, there's prosperity around the corner.
W. C. Fields
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields
There are better things than sex, but nothing quite like it.
W. C. Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields
Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. Fields
