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Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields
Age: 66 †
Born: 1880
Born: January 29
Died: 1946
Died: December 25
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Circus Performer
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
WC Fields
William Claude Dukenfield
W.C. Fields
Miserable
Smile
Morning
Firsts
First
Thing
Cynical
More quotes by W. C. Fields
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine
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If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.
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Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.
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Now don't say you can't swear off drinking it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
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Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
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When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
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I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
W. C. Fields
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad.
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It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
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Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.
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I have a poor memory for names but I seldom remember a face.
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Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
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I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
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I'm looking for loopholes.
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I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
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It's a funny old world. A man's lucky if he gets out of it alive.
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
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I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.
W. C. Fields